Oh boy, it has been one of those days. One where SUPER NANNY should have got a call from my house because I have NO idea how to do this "raising kids" thing.

A night where Dave had to put aside police work and talk to his wife and help me figure out what I am doing SO DARN wrong.

3 boys fighting all day.

1 boy unable to communicate unless it was a L O N G D R A W N O U T whine.

1 boy feigning innocence when the other two are wailing "He is being MEAN to me".

1 boy losing his mind over and over again because his "tool belt" was not fitting

correctly and no one would help for the 1000th time.

A day where I have to leave the room because I have no idea how to quell the storm

that was a ragin' inside them.

A day where the fear of failing at being a mother presses down until you can't breathe.

It has been one of those days.

So, I considered my options. Who could I talk to for a little comfort and some advice? I scrolled thru my contact list on my phone... Mom, Mom-in-law, best friend from high school, beloved new friends here in town, mother of 4 boys who I really admire, Grandma who raised 4 boys, sisters who love and know me so well, sisters in law who I love so dearly, brothers who have always loved and protected me, the list went on.

With one BIG, GLARING omission.

Kneeling down, saying a prayer, asking for help.

The absolute truth is I won't be able to do this without the help of my Heavenly Father, without His inspiration. No matter how many times I play dinosaurs, wrestle till I am exhausted, or get out the baseball gloves, I don't know what it is like inside a little boys mind. But my Savior does. He knows my children and I perfectly. He can help me respond kindly when way too much attitude comes out of my 7 year old's mouth. His divine guidance can help me quell that storm and give me insight I could never have without Him.

I am so thankful for that gift. To be able to communicate with a loving Heavenly Father and quickly warm my weary heart. I never knew how hard it would be to raise truly strong, good boys.

It is quiet now, boys asleep. Their beautiful eyelashes are resting on their perfect cheeks. I am in love again. But more than that, I am at peace knowing I have all the help I need, I just have to ask. I guess, I need days like today in order to have a night as sweet as this one.

Halloween 2009

Every year, I make these boys pick what they want me to make for them for Halloween. Every year, they come up with something great.

Drew wanted to be a werewolf. Yeah, it didn't go as planned.

Latex and fake facial hair was WAY more tricky than the package implied. He didn't seem to care and ran around freaking all the kids out. Wes was originally going to be the mountain troll from the first Harry Potter film. We got the makeup and he hated it. He then decided he would be a caveman. I love his interpretation of what face a cave man would make. Weird.

Will had his mind made up for a year. Powiceman. Yep, there was no question. Dad added the mustache at the last minute and it was the hit of the evening. He strutted around all night with all the authority that he could muster.

There you have it. Man, I love these boys.

I love a good book... or seven.

All of my library books that were on reserve came in today.

I think I will start with "the book thief".

A Sunday Sweet

This quote from President Hinckley is part of our Visiting Teaching Message for October.

"Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has no relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. ... Rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Take care of your little ones. Welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts."

This struck such a chord with me today as I was sitting in Primary. The idea that my children were His children first was very calming for me. It also reminded me of my Heavenly Father's love for me. I know how deeply I love my children and it is a comfort and strength to know I am loved by my Father in Heaven far more than I can understand. I am grateful to know that I am on His errand as I will answer to Him when I account for how I spent my time teaching and loving my boys.

I changed the name of my blog.

Then I changed it back.

I changed it because "The story of us" is a bad movie from the 90's apparently. I have not seen it but I trust the source who brought it to my attention. (the tomato meter).

But because of the questionable meaning of "Us, so far..." I am changing it back.

By questionable, I mean people calling me and asking me if I am having another ball boy(or girl).


NO, I am not.

Crappy 90's movie, it is!

If you want to sing out, sing out...

I love when the Primary Program rolls around at our church. It is one of my favorite Sundays. This year we were asked to sing "Scripture Power" as a family.

So, yeah, that announcement did NOT go well when given. When I convinced my boys that not doing it wasn't an option, they resigned themselves to it. We practiced and practiced and in our little house, we sounded pretty darn good. We only practiced once in the chapel before the big day. Now, under normal circumstances, my boys are louder than a brass band, but singing in front of a crowd... not so much. They squeaked out a sad, sorry version of the song. That song deserves oomph, and vigor so we came up with a plan.

Sacrament meeting rolled around, we were at the pulpit, our solo upon us. Dave leaned down and whispered "Whoever sings the loudest gets ice cream. From the ice cream shoppe".

Problem solved. (and I don't feel a bit bad about the bribe, either.)

To the victor goes the spoils. Ok, Wes sang the loudest, but he graciously shared his (our) treat. Because, as he said tonight "they're my bro's, mom."

bad, bad blogger

Oh my...

almost 2 months of no blogging.

Lots of things going on and by the end of the day I can't seem to form any words to explain or document it all.

The biggest change has been having 2 boys in school and only William at home.

Drew, being the experienced second grader, had no problem with heading back to school.

Wes looked forward to his Kindergarten debut. He loved that he was going to be like Drew and be at school all day. He was hoping to get "girl trapped" daily. The first two days went off without a hitch. I don't think he even looked back at me to say goodbye. I felt so good about my obviously good parenting skills seeing such a prepared student...

Day three... Quivering chin. Tears. Asking to come home. Standing in his class line with those eyes imploring me not to leave.


Day four... Sobbing. Begging to be saved from this Kindergarten hell. Clinging to my neck. The front of my shirt was soaked. SOAKED with my middle child's tears. After prying his little hands from around my neck I left him in line sobbing, back pack on, walking to class. Um, it was terr-i-ble. I cried when I got home and promptly began looking for homeschool curriculums.
Luckily, Dave was home. We planned that Dave would take Wes for the next few days.

Day five...Wes got a secret pep talk from Dad which gave him much needed courage. I don't think I have ever been more in love with my husband then when I watched him, arm around Wes's shoulders, whispering words of encouragement and love. He took Wes to school and with a quick hug, Wes set off and hasn't looked back.

Have I mentioned how much I love my husband?

Now, Will and I are at our leisure. We play games, paint, bake, cuddle while napping and just hang out.

I forgot how much I like just hanging out.

It's nice. Real nice.